03/02/2011

Jeff Brazier Can 'Please Himself'

Jeff Brazier has confirmed rumours that he can lick his own penis.

Wow! He must have a really long... tongue.

That's right, he probably has a large tongue rather than a massive chap. Have you ever heard him talk? He doesn't sound like he's using precision equipment in his gob.

The TV presenter admitted that he had a 'special party trick'.

I'd say, if a man takes off his pants and starts licking himself, that party is over.

Brazier said: "I do! I've not performed it for some time, but it originated from when I was an apprentice at Leyton Orient."

Boy, did he misunderstand the phrase "keepie-uppie".

Oh, I'm just jealous. Because of this, he's far more attractive to women than I'll ever be. He's well-off, good looking... and can suck his own todger. He's the perfect low-maintenance boyfriend.

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