Rooney's Crying Shame

The Mirror says Wayne Rooney cried after having a 3-in-a-bed session with two escorts. If they were £1,200 each, I'd cry too. I hate it when I pay over the odds for something I could do DIY at home.

A source said: "Wayne and his friends used to get a directory sent up from reception and pick out what took their fancy."

How old fashioned. I use Google for everything these days. Of course, if you Google "£1,200 escort" you get sent to AutoTrader.

The new girl who teamed up with Jenny Thompson said: "Wayne told us he'd never had a threesome before. He didn't want us to put on a lesbian sex show. He was more into two girls pleasuring him at the same time."

Well, he does play better when he's up the middle.

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