There was a great picture on the front cover of The Mirror the other day. I have included it at the top of this section because if you describe it you start to worry. It's someone from the Catholic church heading towards a young child. Oh dear.
But when you see the picture it's less worrying. It's a man wearing white, leaning out of a white van towards a young child. He looks like an ice cream man.
A lot of people were upset by this papal visit and I was too. He arrived in Edinburgh. That's about a month too late. The festival is all over now. If he would've got his ass in gear he could've come along to the show I did up there. I'd love to be the MC when the Pope is in the audience.
MC: Do we have anyone from overseas in?
POPE: Yep.
MC: Oh, where are you from?
POPE: The Vatican.
MC: I was going to say that's not a proper country but we're in Scotland right now. So, what's your name?
POPE: Er, Benedict the 16th.
MC: The 16th? So you're a small fraction? Isn't it time the Catholic church modernised? You should express that as a decimal. Eh? I'm here all week, try the veal.
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