21/07/2011

Peter And Jordan Hacked

Peter and JordanWe were upset when we heard it was Milly Dowler's phone that was hacked. We were outraged when we heard that the phones of the relatives of those who died in terrorists attacked and the soldiers who died in Iraq were hacked. But now the nation has to deal with this shocker...

"Jordan and Peter: Our Sex Secrets Were Hacked"

Now hang on a minute. 'Secrets'? Everything in your lives was films by an ITV2 camera crew, sold to OK Magazine and then written about in one of 5 autobiographies.

I don't think she understands the word properly. Jordan, do you realise that Victoria's Secret is just a brand name, it shouldn't be used as a definition of the word secret?

Pals say they are sickened at the thought of steamy voicemails being bugged when they were still married.

Meh. They were voicemails. How steamy could they really be? OK, the woman who says, "Leave your message after the beep," has a certain dominating tone to her but no one gets that sexy in a short voicemail.

And let's just remember what her voice sounds like. She has the monotonic disinterested voice of a train announcer working his notice.

And the content of these voicemails must've been pretty dull because the newspapers never actually printed any stories about them. So if Jordan and Peter are right, the journalists listened to some dull voicemails, in a flat passionless voice about details that the public probably already knew and already didn't care about. This is the first case where the News of the World won't give them money to settle out of court, but send them an invoice for the 5p-a-minute they spent checking that voicemail.
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