02/11/2011

Carole Caplin's Cold Front

Today The Express is the gift that keeps on giving.

Firstly there's the headline: "Big Serbian Freeze To Hit Britain"

We get bad weather and The Express still manages to blame it on foreigners. It wasn't that long ago we had headline stories about the heatwave in the UK. It's almost as if the weather in the UK is changeable and we should just get over it, maybe? Nah.

But the paper also tells us: "Blair's Guru Wins Sex Claim Payout"

A sex claim payout? Sounds like a lottery just with fewer balls.

This is lifestyle guru Carole Caplin. She launched a bitter attack on the Daily Mail after it falsely claimed she was planning to expose the sex secrets of Tony Blair and his wife Cherie.

That's a shame. I was wondering what Tony Blair's sex life was like. I read his book, A Journey, but he didn't mention sex. For some reason he just went on about Iraq, and you can't confuse Tony Blair's sex life with Iraq. Ones hot and involves lots of oil and the other...

In an emotional statement, Ms Caplin said the idea of her cashing in on her special relationship as a lifestyle adviser to the couple was "offensive, damaging and wrong".

But we all wanted to know, because we're trashy like that. We want to know about the sex lives of others. And hey, Tony Blair became Catholic after becoming Prime Minister, so we could find out if he uses contraception, or does he just withdraw. If he does withdraw, he really can't confuse his sex life with Iraq.

>Read the source story
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