Europe is about to collapse, or at the very least close like Woolworths did. The recession means year of austerity is heading out way and Swine Flu might come back this winter but...Frankie Cocozza was booted off X Factor! So it's not all doom and gloom.
Apparently he was thrown off the show after boasting about a cocaine-fuelled sex session. There's a surprise, someone on cocaine boasting.
This is good news as I spent hours on Sunday trying to launch my #FrankieOff campaign on Twitter. I don't know what it is was about his big, smug, punchable face that bothered me but I just wasn't a fan.
A lot of people were saying that he couldn't dance, he couldn't sing, and he certainly couldn't brush his hair. None of that bothered me, but he made me want to punch my own telly, and that I didn't like. I know, it's my fault for not getting the extended warranty but when I bought the TV I didn't know I'd have to look at Frankie's rounded git-visage.
I don't know how he managed to stay in the competition. He was up against the might of my Twitter campaign. I even made T-shirts...
And 250 of these posters...
I guess that when he went out and pulled some drunken "should've-gone-to-Specavers" skank and gave them his number he actually gave them his vote line number. It's the only explanation, surely.
After getting sacked for doing cocaine Frankie apparently said, "I've blown it." Then he's been doing it all wrong.
He added, "I'll regret this the rest of my life." This from a man who had a tattoo on his bum of 7 woman he slept with. He'll regret that in later life. You wait till he gets married.
He has 7 names on there split between 2 cheeks, which obviously doesn't go. He has 3 on one side and 4 on the other. I'd love to take him out, get him drunk and get Barry tattooed in the spare space. Now that's something he'd regret.
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