The UK Strikes Will Happen

Are you ready? We're about to enter the biggest period of civil unrest since Deidre Rasheed got sent down for murder on Coronation Street.

This Wednesday sees the public sector strike. Civil servants, like people at the UK Border Control, will stop working and probably just let anyone in. Could you imagine such a thing?

Two thirds of schools will shut, airports are set for chaos, and the Army on standby.

I'm assuming that's to help out at the airport, not the schools. Although that could be just what some of the kids need these days.

Sargent Major: "Now pay attention you 'orrible lot. Today we're learning about maths. If the UK has 15 aircraft but no aircraft carriers, where do they all land? No, really, we're looking for ideas."

Union leaders have declared there is nothing the Government can do to avert the biggest strikes in a generation this week.

This is where I'm torn because I normally back people's right to strike. Without it this country would be a terrible place to live with the rich abusing their power. But I have to keep remembering that not only am I not in the public sector, and so will not get a public sector pension, I do silly voices for a living, so I'll never get any pension.

My only plan for old age is dying young, and I'm getting quite old for that. That's why I eat so many eggs; they help you stay thin while also giving you cholesterol.

The idea that we all have to pay tax to help some people get a pension that is far better than I could ever afford kind of take the mick. And when I think about some of the teachers I had at school, I kind of like the idea of their pension being cut. "What's that Mr Watkins, you can't afford to put the heating on? Well, run round in your pants and vest. See how you like it!"

So I'm in the odd place of being in favour of the strike but not being in favour of it achieving anything. Basically, I like the idea of some people having a day off. I know it's a day when only some people are meant to get the time off but we all seem to suffer, but the same can be said of bank holidays.

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