24/11/2012

Liquor? Never Touched Her!

A liquor company has released a line of spirits said to have been poured down the chests of glamour models before being bottled.

Really? I'm not falling for that, like I fell for the card that said "genuine photo" in that phone box. Don't ask.

The limited-edition bottles of vodka, rum and whisky are being sold by German company G-Spirits for around £100 a time.

I'm not sure why having your drink poured over models' boobies is meant to make it taste better. If anything it'll have the taste of make-up, fake tan and self-loathing. And the models eat so little, if there are any nutrients in alcohol they'll be absorbed into the model by osmosis.

G-Spirits insists that the products are in keeping with public health department requirements, saying, "We pay high attention to a hygienic filling process, furthermore medical personnel is present to check it." They have a doctor on hand to check the alcohol running over pert breasts? Yeah, I'm sure he was paying attention.

£100 a bottle is a lot. So, always one for a bargain, why not just buy cheap store brand vodka and pour it over the chests of any glamour models you have at home? You're welcome.

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