Ryan Giggs' Sexual Healing

The Daily Star tells us Ryan Giggs is getting some treatment for his sex addiction.

Is it like quitting smoking? Is there a patch? You stick it over your zip and it stops you getting your pants off in a hurry?

Man United's chaplain Rev John Boyers revealed his job now involves teaching players about "sexual ethics".

Surely you don't need someone to explicitly point out that shagging your brother's wife might be viewed in a dim light. "Sorry bro, if you didn't want me to do your missus you should've said something. I'm not a flippin' mind reader."

Do we live in a world where our football players are so stupid they have to be taught the basics of right and wrong? No wonder Ashley Cole shot that kid with a cross bow. "What, we can't shoot people? Next you'll be telling me I shouldn't take pictures of my knob and text them.... what!"

If they are going to teach footballers about morals I hope they do it using salt and pepper pots and go on about it for ages. Just so they know how we feel when they start on the off-side rule.

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