30/09/2011

Podcast 23 - Rihanna's Cover Up, Aussie Baby Boom and Flying Saucers

It's the SomeNews Podcast, episode 23. It's a look at some news that's hit the headlines recently. In this podcast... Rihanna's boob. A man who made a flying saucer. An Aussie baby boom. More Options   Subscribe on iTunes Download the mp3 Download from...
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29/09/2011

Woman In Morgue Comes Back From The Dead

A woman who was pronounced dead, wrapped in plastic and put in a morgue was found breathing by her daughter when she went to say her last goodbyes. Wow! I know plastic bags can keep things fresh but I didn't know they could do that. According to reports, the 60-year-old woman...
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28/09/2011

UK's Health Is A Lottery

The Express today has: New Lottery To Make Britain Better. Eamonn Holmes was there to launch Britain's biggest lottery which has been designed to help our healthcare system. Of course. Because when you look at Eamonn you think, "health"! Giving a man with his appetite an...
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26/09/2011

Pregnant At 61

A 61-year-old woman is expecting her first baby. It's going to be all dribbling and nappy-changing... and then a baby will come along. No, I'm kidding. This is a wonderful story. This woman wanted a baby and thought it was too late for her, but thanks to a donor egg and...
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Kids These Day's, Eh?

A new survey says kids these days don't know the basic tasks we all learned as we were growing up. Only one in five of youngsters said they could tie a reef knot. In their defence they might not be good at knots but they can bit torrent films and can loot better than we ever...
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24/09/2011

Erosion of Childhood

The Daily Telegraph today has: "The erosion of childhood." This is the story that a team of experts say that our children are growing up to quickly these days. You hear that phrase a lot, "growing up to quickly". I assume they're growing up at about 1 year per year, aren't...
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23/09/2011

Staring Down Barrel of Economic Disaster

The front page of the Daily Mail today shows us a disaster. And I don't mean the Kate Winslet story. Although she's dating Richard Branson's nephew. Let's hope for her sake he wasn't the inspiration for Richard's company, Virgin. The disaster we're looking at is about money....
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Good Excuses For No TV Licence

The TV Licensing people have revealed the most implausible excuses gathered over the last 12 months for not having a TV Licence. I'm assuming none of these excuses actually paid off but it's worth remembering that they keep a list. If you get done for not having a TV licence...
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22/09/2011

Starbucks Film You On The Toilet

I love a nice trip to a coffee shop. I'm always sat there, with my grande cappuccino, tapping away on my netbook in the hope that people will see me and think I must be writing something important, rather than just another joke about Cheryl Cole. However, my love of coffee...
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The Live Radio Show - Garrison FM

I'm covering some more radio shows. I'm on air from 7am to 10am, Tuesday to Friday. Let me know if you're listening in by email or messaging me on my Twitter. If you are in the Aldershot area tune into 102.5FM or see below to listen online. And if you're on an iPhone use...
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21/09/2011

Man Stalks Own Girlfriend

How's this for terrifying? A man stalked his own girlfriend for three years. I know a lot of women who would want there other halves to pay them more attention, but it seems you can have too much of a good thing. And stalking your partner really isn't fair. When they get...
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SomeNews At The Manchester Comedy Festival [Ended]

The event has happened now. It was good fun. Find out where the next SomeNews Live Festival Show will be by clicking here. This year SomeNews.co.uk has a one-off show at The Manchester Comedy Festival. Off the back of the SomeNews Edinburgh Fringe Show we're taking SomeNews...
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20/09/2011

Breast-Slapping Beauty Treatment

I am a keen reader of health news. I used to read the Daily Mail health pull-out all the time till I worked out the pattern. No matter what the ailment was they simply recommended drinking more water. Got dry skin? Drink more water. Suffering from headaches? Drink more...
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UK Gets Early Big Freeze

Britain may get another big freeze this winter with snow expected to sweep in as early as next month. Oh no! You know that means the country will grind to a halt again? We always do. We get a few flakes of snow and we're brought to our knees. In fact, that's why Hitler...
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19/09/2011

Vince Cable Attacks

Today's Independent tells us "Cable: I'll force fat cats to justify bonuses." Good old Vince Cable is back to his belligerent best. He's now promising to make the bankers justify their bonuses. The problem with that is they'll find a way to do it. If you ask someone if they...
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Man Stabs Burglar

A tricky story leads the news today, but I think it's important to cover it. A man has been arrested on suspicion of murder after allegedly stabbing a burglar to death. The 39-year-old businessman, Vincent Cooke, was at home when he answered his door to two armed men. In...
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18/09/2011

Cheryl Cole's Death Treats

The Daily Star goes with the headline "Cheryl Death Threat". Apparently she has been receiving death threats on her trip to visit troops in Afghanistan. I thought I'd point that out in case you thought it was Cheryl making then. We all know if she has one of those toilet...
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16/09/2011

Podcast 22 - Free Libya, Strikes in the UK, and Red or Black or not?

It's the SomeNews Podcast, episode 22. It's a look at some news that's hit the headlines recently. In this podcast... The new free Libya and its high profile visitors The UK gets set for industrial action The TV show Red or Black may be cancelled Rich women buys a fancy yacht More...
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Woman's Impressive Party Trick With Balls

There's a fine line between having an amazing skill and having way too much time on your hands. And I really don't know where this woman is. If she has too much time on her hands it'll also be on her feet and all over the place too. Selyna Bogino has developed the skill of...
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15/09/2011

UK Riots - The Facts

Today the rioters are back in the news as we find out more details of the people now charged. One stat is that more than half of all rioters were 20 or under. Some people are saying this is evidence of a disenfranchised youth. I think they're looking at it the wrong way....
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End of the Sell-By Date

Today sees the end of the sell-by date. I must admit, as a bloke, that won't mean much of a difference in my life. We never really look at the sell-by date. If we're hungry we'll eat it. And sometimes it's good that a food is past its date, because that means the women in...
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14/09/2011

George Osborne Lost The Whip

Bad news for George Osborne. He faced more questions about his role in the decision to bring the former News of the World editor Andy Coulson into the Conservative Party, but the best part of all this is the part of the story that involves a dominatrix. Ah, it's just like...
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13/09/2011

Naked Rugby Team Beaten

New Zealand's naked rugby team, the so-called Nude Blacks, have lost for the first time in their nine-year history, to a women's team. I wonder why that could be. Possibly because the players had to sit down with crossed legs for most of the game? And it makes sense that...
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12/09/2011

The Pill's Memory Effect

New research says being on the contraceptive pill can affect a woman's memory. Oh dear. That's a shame because it's the one pill you really need to remember to take. Experts say women who take oral birth control tend to remember different aspects of an incident from those...
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