Pleased To Meat You

The Telegraph tells us: "Red meat is blamed for one in 10 early deaths."

I've looked into it and that figure doesn't include chokings and crates of the stuff falling on people, so this is really serious. It also only counts red meat in its dead form, so the stats don't include anyone attacked by a cow.

The Government's guidelines say you should eat no more than 2.5 ounces of red meat a day. But Dr Frank Hu, co-author of the study, said: "Given the growing evidence that even modest amounts of red meat is associated with increased risk of chronic disease and premature death, 2.5 ounces (70 grams) per day seems generous."

If he thinks it's killing us, generous is an odd word to use. "You can say what you like about that Dr Crippen but he certainly wasn't stingy with the hyoscin hydrobromide."

The study done at Harvard School of Medicine found that small quantities of processed meat such as bacon, sausages or salami can increase the chance of dying by a fifth and eating steak increases the risk of dying by 12%.

Surely the chance of dying is 100%. I'm not a betting man, but if I were, I'd bet on the fact I'll die. And I'll be quids in when it finally happens.

The study found that swapping red meat for poultry, fish or vegetables, whole grains and other healthy foods cut the risk of dying by up to one fifth.

So they drop the odds of dying from 100% for us mortals to 80% for the veggies? This means they have discovered immortals. I thought that would've been front page news, especially on the Telegraph. The average age of its readers is "nearly dead".

In an accompanying editorial Dr Dean Ornish, of the University of California, San Francisco, said that eating less red meat could also help tackle climate change, saying: "In addition to their health benefits, the food choices we make each day affect other important areas as well. What is personally sustainable is globally sustainable. What is good for you is good for our planet."

There are too many people in this world and we're living too long. If we have found a food that leads to early deaths, obesity-related fertility problems and it tastes good, I think doing the right thing for the planet is having a nice steak.

Nom nom.

>Read the source story


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