Woolly Mammoth Are Coming Back

Russian and South Korean scientists have signed a deal on joint research intended to recreate a woolly mammoth, an animal which last walked the earth some 10,000 years ago.

Why? Has anyone actually missed it? I've got by with just elephants and sheep.

They have found better quality remains and advances in stem cell technology means they could bring back this big animal from extinction. But it'll go wrong. Didn't they learn anything from Jurassic Park? They'll probably think they're safe because they will only clone females. You think having lots of females together is safe? Haven't you seen the TV show Loose Women?

The deal was signed by Vasily Vasiliev, vice rector of North-Eastern Federal University of the Sakha Republic, and controversial cloning pioneer Hwang Woo-Suk of South Korea's Sooam Biotech Research Foundation. Hwang was the man who created Snuppy, the world's first cloned dog, in 2005. Although for him it was a plan to solve the problem of food shortage.

The mammoth probably went extinct for a reason. If it couldn't hack it once we shouldn't help it out. Let it go, dude.

In fact, we should be going the other way. There are some animals that we should just get rid of. The snake. Nasty piece of work, I say we get rid of it. All we'd lose is unfashionable bags and shoes. And the wasp. We have the bee doing all the work, the wasp is it's no good, drop out cousin. If you can make some honey we might let you live, but if not you're gone.

And the panda. It's time to stop spending money trying to keep these things alive. They don't breed and they eat something that is so nutritionally poor they have to spend all day eating it. They spend all day eating and they survive because of our money hand outs. They're the chavs of the animal world, which explains the black eyes.

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