20/12/2011

Magic Pill To Keep You Slim

Magic Pill To Keep You SlimPerfect news for this time of year. Scientists have invented a "magic pill to keep you slim". But hang on, we don't need a pill to keep you slim, we need a pill to 'make' you slim.

Don't go making pills to help slim people. They're annoying enough already. As soon as Christmas is over you'll bump into one of your really skinny little friends and they'll say, "Oh I know. I ate so much over Christmas. Look at my belly." as they stroke the smallest of paunches.

Come off it. I've done poos that weight more than you!

They say million of Brits could benefit from a new wonder diet pill which switches off appetite without any side effects.

So does reading the news story about The Krankies being swingers.

It's a good job we're so close to solving the obesity epidemic with some 15 million in the UK now falling into that category. Although calling it an epidemic doesn't seem right. It makes it sound like you can catch fat. "Yeah, I can't touch my toes any more, I think I'm coming down with a touch of fat. I think Greggs must be a carrier."

Researchers believe the pill will stop obese people from feeling hungry by mimicking the effect of a hormone that switches off appetite.

Have you ever met a fat person? They don't eat because they're hungry. You need a hormone that switches off low self-esteem and boredom.

They have been doing clinical tests and they say the results are promising. But how have they managed to do clinical tests? You have to have one group of fat people on the drug and one group of fat people on harmless placebo sugar-pills. As soon as they find out they taste of sugar they'll scoff the lot.

>Read the source story
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