Scottish Zoo Gets Chinese Delivery

What's black and white are red all over? The pandas that have been loaned to Scotland. Why red? If they look at someone's bird up there...

The pandas are being loaned to Edinburgh Zoo and it's hoped that they might try breeding. What, in this weather? I'm a human, not a species known for its disinterest in bonking and when it's freezing cold I don't feel like trying it on. Pandas don't even fancy a bit of how's your father when they're in a beautiful holiday destination, and I don't think a bit of deep-fried bamboo will help.

One if the pandas is called Sunshine. So people in Scotland will queue up and pay to see Sunshine because they have never seen it before. Sounds about right.

But not everyone is happy about this. Joanna Lumley wrote a letter to the Times saying this will just help to mask China's appalling track record on animal welfare. China is often accused of abusing animals and Joanna is worried that when we see these pandas we'll forget all about it.

No way. This will make people realise how badly China treats their animals. Both pandas have two massive black eyes.

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