Cameron Backs Christianity

David Cameron has said that the UK needs a return to "traditional Christian values" to counter the country's "moral collapse". He said we need religion to fight the "do what you please" culture that we have.

I for one agree. We need to get back to good, old fashioned Christian values like, erm, The Crusades. That was a traditional Christian thing. Let's get some swords and head to some Muslims. Cameron was saying we shouldn't be afraid to say we're a Christian country, well nothing says that like a Crusade.

Or maybe he means traditional Christian values like not being big fans of homosexuals and not letting women do much.

Or maybe he's going really old school. Maybe he means we you have some of the values of the early days of Christianity, like throwing yourselves at lions. Actually, maybe that was more of a Roman idea.

Or maybe when he says we need Christian values to stop society repeating the riots he means kinder and warmer values, like a love of pancake day. If more people had just enjoyed a slap up meal of pancakes with lemon juice I think they wouldn't have been in the mood for rioting.

He can't mean Christmas. The tradition of getting the latest gadgets for free is kind of "riots light".

Or maybe, what he means is we should have the morals and ethics to keep us on the right track. The kind of morals you can get from any religion, Aesop's Fables or as I found out today, by listening to the songs of the Oompa Loompas in the original version of the film Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory.

But why just talk about morals and ethics when you can bring religion into it? It might get you the Christian vote and after all, no one ever died because of religion, right?

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