You Won't Find Mr Right

Hey Steve. It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin N Allen. You know that new style you've been looking for...A new survey has found that the perfect man simply doesn't exist.

Well, I don't remember anyone with a clipboard stopping me in the street and asking how brill I am, so maybe you should keep looking.

This was actually a survey of women and it found that most think their partner is only 69% perfect.

Reading that I am very tempted to make a joke about "how a 69 sounds perfect to me" and then I realise it's that kind of thing that stops us blokes scoring higher.

The same survey also found that three in four women believe there is no such thing as the perfect man.

What you're saying is that in this whole world, of all the 3.5 billion men on it, throughout all of humanity, not one of us meets your standards. Then maybe the problem is your standards.

If they find the Higgs-Boson before you find the ideal partner, it's time to change your search criteria.

According to the report the common faults men have include not really listening to what the woman has to say and leaving the toilet door open. And yet the same women who refuse to put up with men because of these issues will then buy a cat.

I don't want this to seem like it's sexist, so let's phrase it the other way. Whenever I am on the look out for a partner I don't try to find the ideal woman. I'm not looking for someone who has no faults, no bad habits, who has perfects looks, personality and of course, no mood swings. I don't want to find the perfect woman because if I do, I know she can do better than me.

So, think on ladies.

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