A million for having sex. That's like winning the lottery, but she only had to get two balls... on her chin.
Neville Thurlbeck says his story about Miss Loos' alleged affair with Beckham was justified because the Beckhams 'made money on their fairy-tale marriage'.
So he thinks he had a duty to prove they didn't have a fairy-tale marriage? That seems a little harsh. I pretend I'm funny on stage, I don't need some journalist going round finding evidence that I once did a really rubbish joke about a mother-in-law.
And were they making money off their marriage? He was a footballer. No one thinks footballers have good marriages. And did you see his Armani underwear adverts? They hardly shouted, "faithful hubby".
When it comes to buying Police sunglasses that David advertised, no one was thinking, "I think I'll buy these because then I look like a father in a stable relationship." You bought them because you think they'd make you look sexy and maybe get someone to send you sex texts too.
That was my favourite part of the story when it broke, when the newspapers printed the redacted rude text messages between David and Rebecca. And in his defence, if I had a voice like David, I'd flirt by text too.
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