Happy New Year, 2012

As we can see from the front page of The Independent, 2012 started with a bang. I mean the fireworks on the right, not the exploding boobs on the left.

The UK saw in the New Year in the traditional way. Yep, fireworks are now a New Year tradition, along with Bonfire Night, Halloween, Christmas, the anniversary of England beating Germany in football and Tuesdays. Basically, not a night goes past without someone setting off a firework for some reason. And if you don't expect them you suddenly see a flash in the rear view mirror and think, "Oh crap! Speed camera!"

250,000 people queued up to see some explosion going off around the capital, but not all of them were al-Qa'ida.

And now we're in 2012, so what does this year have in story for us? It'll include the London Olympics (which will mean even more fireworks, no doubt). It'll be a great event whatever happens. If we win lots of golds we can get a Cash 4 Gold envelope and sort out this credit crunch. And if we lose we can read the Daily Mail bemoaning that the one thing worse than letting lots of foreigners into the country is letting in lots of foreigners who can run quickly.

2012 will also see the end of the Twilight saga, part 2 of Breaking Dawn. I don't know who plays Dawn but it sounds like it's going to be violent.

In TV land the BBC will show their new reality show The Voice, which is like The X Factor only the judges don't get to look at the contestants. But that's basically how Louis Walsh works thanks to the cataracts. If they could just invent a show where the audience don't get to see the contestants, or hear them, it would be great.

What else could happen in 2012? Well, Europe will have a closing down sale. England will lose a key match (doesn't really matter what sport, it'll be true) and the world will end in December and if it does anyone who took out a 24 month mobile phone contract will be upset.

Whatever happens, try to enjoy it. That's my New Year's Resolution for 2012, try to enjoy more things. It'll be better than my 2011 New Year's Resolution, which was "say yes to more things," which explains my obesity and Hep C.

Have a happy 2012.


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