MP Eric Joyce, Political Heavyweight

This is a shocking news story. MP Eric Joyce has been charged with three counts of common assault after an alleged fight in a House of Commons bar.

It's shocking because MPs aren't the kind of people who normally get involved in fights. But then you read on and find out that Eric Joyce is the MP for Falkirk. Oooooh. Yep, he's not helping the Scottish stereotype by having a scrap. And then you remember where this all happened. In a bar. Also not helping the Scottish stereotype.

He punched a Tory, which I was surprised to find is actually illegal. I thought there was a by-law that lets you punch them, like the one about pregnant women being able to pee in policemen's helmets. In fact, if you combine those two laws we'd have something worth watching. "She's desperate Boris, and your hair looks absorbent."

We don't know the details of what set Eric off. There are reports that he's having trouble with his marriage and other reports say David Haye was there stirring it up.

Eric was also suspended by the Labour Party, but do you know what, I think he's the first person to make politics exciting to the young voters. It's added some much needed drama. A lot of people think what goes off in the House of Commons is all that "ayes to the right, nos to the left" business.

Now it's "eyes to the right, nose to the left", and that's just the other guy's face.

>Read the source story


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