Pete Doherty's Blood's On Show

In the past I haven't been the biggest fan of Pete Doherty but now I am going to promote his latest artistic venture. An exhibition has opened displaying artwork painted using his blood. This art is amazing, beautiful and is a must for every home.

I say that because if there's a big demand for art made of his blood it might just drain him dry and finish him off.

I know he doesn't look like he's very well organised but you'd think that if you wanted to try painting you'd remember to get some paint. How lazy must you be to think, "Nah, I won't go to Hobbycraft, I'll just use my blood."

Still, it could've been worse. It's a braver man than me that sniffs any of his partings that are coloured in brown.

The former Libertines singer squirts his own blood onto a canvas with a syringe (I wonder where he gets one of those from) in a technique he describes as 'arterial splatter'. And these pieces of art are selling for up to to £8,000. I'm not surprised they're expensive, they contain his blood, which means they must have a few grams worth of coke in it.

The only trouble with a whole exhibition of this blood art is that after a while it will get a bit samey. It's red blood on canvas, red blood on canvas... That's why he should collaborate with a member of the royal family, and get a different colour in there.

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