28/12/2012

Tom Cruise Has No New GF

Poor old Tom Cruise. He can't seem to catch a break. People have been saying he's not tall enough to play the part of Jack Reacher in the new film. He's more of a Jack "Can't Quite" Reacher.

He once had water squirted in his face at a film premiere. And yet whenever Pete Doherty was seen out no one thought to give him a wash, when he clearly needed it more.

And when an article on The Sun website called Tom the "Jesus of Scientology" someone wrote in the comments section that we should get some planks, nails and put it to the test. OK, the person who left that comment was me, but now I feel bad about it.

He's had a rough time in his love life after his relationship with Katie Holmes ended, but recently we heard he'd started seeing someone. Rumour had it he'd been seeing Cynthia Jorge who is 26. He's 50. Within a reasonable error that means he's dating someone half his age. That's a dream of any man, which he can only say out loud as soon as he hits his 32nd birthday.

There were reports that Tom and Cynthia were grinding on a nightclub dance floor. I don't see nothing wrong with that.

Sadly the latest gossip is that Cynthia has denied a relationship with the actor. But people saw them grinding. How can both of those facts be true? It can mean only one thing, the height difference meant he was probably rubbing her shins raw. The poor bloke.

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