Review of 2012 - August

In August, we should've been miserable, we were in the longest double-dip recession in 50 years. The economy had shrunk for the third quarter in a row. If you think a "dip" lasts 9 months, stay the heck away from my tea with your biscuits. But we started to get happy as something magical happened. The UK wasn't as crap at the Olympics as we thought. I knew the UK would do well in the Olympics, because thanks to the previous summer's riots most of our young folk had sportswear.

Ultimately we came third, America came first but not without controversy. US judo expert Nick Delpopolo was disqualified for taking marijuana. Thank heavens he was thrown out of the competition, because we can't have someone giving themselves a competitive advantage by smoking weed. That's the same competitive advantage you'd get from drinking Ovaltine and sitting down funny on your own nads before a match.

In second place came China. Interestingly most of their gold medals came from their female athletes. Imagine how well they could've done if they let more of their girl babies live.

After all the celebrations of the Olympics, that included the Queen jumping out of a helicopter (well, parking round there was a nightmare), August sadly ended on a bad note. Cheryl Cole was involved in a car crash. Will.I.Am was driving. It's because he's a judge on The Voice. He probably had his chair facing the wrong way.

Get ready for the SomeNews Podcast "2012 Review", out on December 31st. Subscribe now for free via iTunes/RSS/email and get it as soon as it's released.

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