Beer Could Cure Your Cold

New research from Sapporo Medical University in Japan says that drinking beer may help fight off colds.

Fancy that. A university, where there are a lot of students, finds that drinking is good for you. That's like the Square Mile in London finding that being a total dick gives you vitamin E.

The study has discovered humulone — either a chemical compound that can be found in hops, or a porn version of that Macaulay Culkin film — was effective in battling off the respiratory syncytial (RS) virus. It makes sense. When was the last time you heard about an alcoholic dying of a cold?

This is great news. If beer can fight off the RS virus you could get Tennent's Extra on prescription. The researchers say the only problem is that there is a minuscule amount of the substance in beer, and the scientists say the average individual would have to consume up to 30 12-ounce cans in order to gain any health benefits from the beverage. Hmm, tricky, but at least it means Pete Dogherty should be safe from the sniffles.

The researchers say, "We are now studying the feasibility of applying humulone to food or non-alcoholic products." That's like someone saying, "Good news. Sex burns 150 calories but you could get the same effect from 15 minutes on the cross-trainer. So, that's good, yeah?"

This isn’t the first study to point out the potential health benefits of drinking beer. In a study published online by the European Journal of Epidemiology last November, researchers suggested the beverage could have the same positive cardiovascular effects found in wine.

And drinking alcohol could also help you get pregnant. That's not based on scientific research but it certainly worked with the girls in the school I went to.

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