Review of 2012 - November

While Operation Yew Tree continued to make has-been celebrities look bad, along came something that made some look even worse, the new series of I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here. Helen Flanagan did so many trials she was on the TV every night with Ant and Dec. Most people saw that and thought, "They're an impressive pair." MP Nadine Dorries went into the jungle, not to raise her own celebrity profile, but to highlight some serious issues. I'm not sure what those issues were. I watched the show and now I understand the plight of kangaroo's balls. That's about it.

Elsewhere in celebrity news, Keira Knightley said she's happy to go topless in films because her breasts are so small. But she won't go bottomless. Does that mean she has a massive clump?

She certainly has more down there than the man in Thailand who had to have his manhood removed after he tried to make it bigger by injecting olive oil into it. Extra virgin? Well, he kind of is now. Putting olive oil in your penis is not a good idea, and it is also the total opposite to Popeye.

And speaking of putting your penis in things, in America, General David Petraeus lost his job when a scandal broke about him sleeping with his biographer. I should admit, I have slept with my biographer in the past. Well, I wrote an autobiography, but it still counts.

Get ready for the SomeNews Podcast "2012 Review", out on December 31st. Subscribe now for free via iTunes/RSS/email and get it as soon as it's released.

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