This Cola Could Make You Thin

PepsiCo is selling a drink in Japan that claims to block fat from the food you eat. Finally, when you see a fat person eating a burger but drinking a "diet" drink, you won't feel the urge to mock him loudly.

At the moment the drink is only on sale in Japan, and that makes sense. If I were to launch a product that improves people's diets I'd do it in a place where they eat a lot of healthy fish. Baby steps.

It's called Pepsi Special and it contains dextrin, a fat-blocking fibre that is supposed to keep the body from absorbing fat and lower cholesterol levels.

The trouble is, if you take fat blockers and eat a lot of fat, it works as laxative. If I wanted a drink that would make me crap my pants I'd go back to getting drunk on Guinness.

It goes to show how image obsessed society is that we could actually be given a choice between being fat and having to wear an adult nappy. And it's tempting to pick the "slim nappy wearer" option. You'd look great and you'd never have to worry about finding the nearest toilet again.

The problem is, you'd look really attractive when you're dressed, but if you pull and take someone home, when you strip off you'd be wearing a nappy. And that would kill the mood. But hey, it wouldn't be the first thing that makes you look more attractive when you're dressed than when you strip off, isn't that right Wonderbra?

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