08/12/2012

James Arthur Hearts Tulisa

This time last week we were talking about James Arthur from X Factor trying to sneak some groupies into his hotel room. It's understandable. When you grow up as just a normal guy who likes music and then turn into a famous guy on TV, you have to be allowed some foolish mistakes when it comes to your love life. But some mistakes are a step too far. According to the latest gossip, he's admitted he fancies X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos.

Come on man, sort it out. We thought you had taste. If his taste gets any worse he'll be the one voting for Christopher Maloney.

Let's go through the reasons why that's wrong.

1: The power balance. It's like having a fling with your boss at work. No good will come of it. The best you can hope for is that your letter will get published in Dear Deirdre's column. You shouldn't have a work-based relationship. As they say, don't shit where you eat. Although if you've never had a bag of crisps on the bog you've never really been a student.

2: It's Tulisa. She sits two seats down from Nicole. James, if Tulisa is the most attractive woman you can see when you're stood on stage you should get checked for one of those retinoblastoma you read about in news.

3: It's Tulisa, famous for her sex tape. A little search for rude clips on Google and you know what skills she'd be bringing to the table. It's like a "try before you buy" thing, and spoiler alert: Even if you date her, you'll still be searching for rude clips on Google.

And 4: She'll be offended on behalf of her friend when you tell her your nickname for your penis is Dappy.

In the same interview, James also admitted that he is a "great lover". He said: "It's all about respect. I'm not going to treat a woman like a piece of meat."

Eat her?

He has so much to learn.

>Read the source story
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